A Tax Day Survival Guide  

Because if the IRS gets your money, you should at least get a great meal.

Tax Day has a way of bringing out a very particular mood—somewhere between mild despair and triumphant survival. Whether you’re writing a check to Uncle Sam or nervously watching your refund creep through the IRS website, April 15 reminds us that the only two sure things in life are death and taxes… and that neither should be faced on an empty stomach.

That’s where comfort food comes in. Not the quick salad or the protein shake kind of comfort—the warm, buttery, slow-cooked kind that wraps around you like a favorite sweatshirt.

So tonight, reward yourself for pushing through the receipts, the deductions, and the soul-sucking forms (Turbo Tax, H&R Block or your own accountant, they all suck you dry) with a meal that says: You got through another year! You earned this!

🧀 Smoked Gouda Mac & Cheese

Rich, golden, and unapologetically comforting

Ingredients:

• 1 lb elbow macaroni or cavatappi
• 2 tbsp butter
• 2 tbsp flour
• 2 cups milk
• 1 cup heavy cream (yes, treat yourself)
• 1½ cups shredded smoked gouda
• 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar
• Salt, pepper, pinch of cayenne

Optional Add-ins:

• Crumbled bacon
• Caramelized onions
• Chopped spinach (for the illusion of health)

Instructions:

1. Cook pasta al dente and set aside.
2. In a saucepan, melt butter and whisk in flour to make a roux.
3. Add milk and cream. Stir until thick.
4. Melt in cheese, season to taste.
5. Stir in pasta, pour into dish, spread some of the shredded sharp cheddar on top and broil until golden.

🥬 Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Balsamic Glaze

Tax tip: They’re green, but not deductible.

Ingredients:

• 1 lb Brussels sprouts, halved
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• Salt & pepper
• Balsamic glaze

Instructions:

1. Toss sprouts in oil, salt, and pepper.
2. Roast at 400°F for 25–30 minutes until crispy.
3. Drizzle with balsamic before serving.

🍞 Tax Bracket Bread Pudding

Sweet, soft, and almost worth itemizing.

Ingredients:

• 5 cups day-old brioche or French bread, cubed
• 3 eggs
• 1½ cups milk
• ½ cup cream
• ¾ cup brown sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp vanilla
• Raisins or nuts (optional)

Instructions:

1. Whisk all ingredients except bread.
2. Pour over bread in greased dish. Soak 30 mins.
3. Bake at 350°F for 40–45 minutes.

Top with whipped cream or bourbon glaze and pretend it’s a write-off.

🍷 Yogiwan’s Tax Day Reflections:

1. If time is money, I just spent a small fortune looking for last year’s deductions.
2. No matter how many times I do this, I’m always shocked by how much of what I earn the government thinks I ought to give to them.
3. I’ve accepted that my taxes are too complicated for me to do without help and Turbo Tax, H&R Block and others confirm that I really don’t know much about IRS forms (and don’t want to know).
4. Refunds are just proof that the government borrowed your money without asking—then made you beg to get it back.
5. My tax return is like a mystery novel. Except I wrote it, I don’t understand the plot, and the ending still surprises me.
6. The real miracle of Tax Day? Still finding time to make dinner and pour a decent glass of wine.
7. Paying taxes is mandatory. Cooking good food afterward? That’s spiritual recovery.