When Sci-Fi Satire Meets Real-Life Asteroids
So, here we are. Again. Humanity faces an existential threat from space, and—just like in the 2021 satirical film Don’t Look Up—we’re probably going to spend more time arguing about it on social media than actually doing something useful.
NASA is currently tracking asteroid 2024 YR4, which has a 1.5% chance of slamming into Earth in 2032. (Now down to 0.002%) That’s not exactly zero, which means we should probably pay at least some attention. But let’s be honest: unless it’s trending on TikTok or becomes a political football, most of us will just keep doom-scrolling past it.
Could this asteroid end life as we know it? Maybe. Could it just be a big celestial nothing burger? Also, maybe. But the real question is: What happens if we go full “Don’t Look Up” on this one?
If the Asteroid Hits Open Water, No One Cares (Mostly)
Let’s start with the least dramatic scenario. If 2024 YR4 smacks down into the Pacific Ocean, the worst thing that happens is that a bunch of marine life has a really bad day. Maybe some tuna gets relocated. Maybe an octopus writes an angry letter to the United Nations. Otherwise, no humans, no problem.
Unless, of course, the impact generates a tsunami big enough to make 2004’s Indian Ocean disaster look like a splash in a kiddie pool. In that case, coastal cities get the worst real estate update since Zillow introduced “Zestimate” pricing.
If it hits the Sahara Desert, the Outback, or Siberia, then congratulations, humanity—you just got the world’s biggest crater and a few confused camels.
But let’s be real. That’s not how movie plots work, and the universe loves a little drama. So let’s explore the fun possibilities, shall we?
Option 1: The Asteroid vs. New York City (Spoiler: NYC Loses)
NASA estimates that 2024 YR4 is between 130 and 300 feet across. Not quite Deep Impact or Armageddon size, but big enough to turn Times Square into an actual crater instead of just a metaphorical one filled with tourists and overpriced pizza.
If the asteroid slams into Manhattan, here’s what happens:
- The New York Stock Exchange ceases to exist, and Wall Street finally experiences an actual crash.
- Thousands of Yankees fans demand a refund for next season, only to realize baseball is the least of their worries.
- People in New Jersey take to Twitter to post “Well, at least it wasn’t us.”
- The cast of Saturday Night Live prepares the greatest cold open in history but never gets to air it.
On the bright side, Times Square billboards will still be flashing ads for reality TV and crypto long after humanity is gone, proving that some things never die.
Option 2: London—Tea and Craters, Anyone?
If 2024 YR4 lands in London, expect a very polite yet profoundly existential crisis. Brits will likely queue in an orderly fashion to escape the disaster zone while apologizing profusely for any inconvenience the apocalypse may cause.
The royal family will release a carefully worded statement, reassuring the public that King Charles is monitoring the situation. Meanwhile, tabloids will speculate whether Meghan Markle somehow orchestrated the asteroid strike for publicity.
As the smoke clears, someone will inevitably compare it to the Blitz, and BBC News will run a two-hour special on the asteroid’s colonial history.
Option 3: Tehran—A Geopolitical Nightmare
Let’s say 2024 YR4 chooses Tehran, Iran, for its dramatic entrance. The impact itself would be devastating, but the real fireworks start immediately after when the world’s conspiracy theorists lose their collective minds.
Within minutes:
- Multiple countries start blaming each other, because obviously NASA, Israel, or the Illuminati must have done this on purpose.
- Russian media claims the asteroid was actually a secret U.S. space weapon.
- The U.S. State Department insists that the asteroid wasn’t their fault but will still impose sanctions, just in case.
- Social media explodes with hashtags like #AsteroidGate, #NukeTheSky, and #PrayForIran.
Of course, amidst all this, scientists would still be shouting into the void, trying to explain that no one controls space rocks. But, as Don’t Look Up taught us, science is often the first casualty of human stupidity.
So, What’s the Plan?
In Don’t Look Up, humanity was too busy with political drama, celebrity gossip, and social media nonsense to actually deal with the problem. So, would we handle it any better this time?
NASA has some options. If we act early, we could nudge the asteroid’s path using kinetic impactors (basically, a spaceship slamming into it). If things get desperate, nuclear detonation is on the table—which sounds great until you realize blowing up an asteroid can just turn one big problem into a thousand smaller problems.
Of course, there’s always Option C: The “Ignore It and Hope for the Best” Strategy—which has worked surprisingly well for climate change, economic crashes, and social media addiction.
Final Thoughts: Are We Smarter Than a Satirical Movie?
Don’t Look Up was meant as a warning wrapped in absurdity, but looking at how we handle global crises, it’s hard not to feel like we’re already living in the sequel.
The good news? There’s still time to act. The bad news? Most of us will probably just share asteroid memes until it’s too late.
So, here’s the real question: When 2024 YR4 gets closer, will we take it seriously… or will we just argue about whose fault it is?
Your move, humanity. Don’t screw this one up.
What do you think? Would we handle a real asteroid better than the characters in Don’t Look Up? Or are we doomed to repeat fiction in real life? Drop your thoughts below!
